palmer lol

colophon mode, nerd stuff ahead

Let's render like it's 1999.

đźš§ UNDER CONSTRUCTION đźš§

Cool mode active. Calm mode active.

Calm down, ffs Be cool

Colophon

This site is hand-authored HTML and CSS. There is no client-side JavaScript, no third-party resources, and no surprise requests to somebody else’s servers.

“Modes” are explicit and inspectable through the URL fragment: #calm pauses motion, while #cool keeps the escalating sparkle nonsense alive. The state lives in the URL, not in hidden storage.

The site does require a bit of JavaScript, which runs only on the server via Cloudflare Pages Functions, and never interacts with you the visitor. /counter.svg is generated server-side and backed by an R2 object (a plain text counter). Every request increments the number — no cookies, no identifiers, no bot filtering, no “analytics.”

The “Updated:” stamp is also handled by a server-side script - a Pages middleware function rewrites HTML responses at the edge, replacing any element marked data-auto-updated with the current deploy date - necessary because I'd forget it too often to keep that field relevant otherwise. View Source still shows the marker, because that’s the point.

Design, style, and direction are mine. Most of the implementation work was done with AI assistance under my guidance — and I’d rather be explicit about that than quietly imply I personally typed every line.